The following are some truths I learned during a session with my counselor in the midst of the years when I was experiencing self-hatred, depression, self-harming behavior, and suicidal ideation. I wrote them down in a journal. These truths I learned during that time were to counteract the lies that I told myself in my head about life and about myself. I wrote quite a few short entries in that journal, and this is one:
Journal Entry After Counseling
December 22, 2005
When I am feeling hatred toward myself and wanting to hurt myself:
- I can know that Jesus doesn't condemn me.
- I can realize that God says anger is okay. It is just an emotion.
- I can be angry and not direct it at myself.
- I can remember that when people get to know me, they like me.
- I can go through hard stuff and know that there are people who are willing to go through it with me.
- I can ask God for help.
- I can fight the thoughts of self-hatred and the desires to hurt myself, with the truth that God loves me and took my punishment for me.