The Story that is My Life

My life as it has been and as it continues to unfold is a story. One story made up of many stories. One complex, yet simple story. One sometimes messy, but so beautiful story. One story that I wonder if it might be interesting to be told.

This blog is my attempt to put part, or parts, of that story into words, pictures, or whatever form my mind can wrap itself around or create from within myself to express what it is like to be the one inside Cindy's Story. This is an exploration on my part and on yours in reading, and seeing, and maybe even hearing. It is not necessarily chronological. It might not always make sense, but it is my expression. It is me.

You are invited to see how my story unfolds.....

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Devotional #2 - The Burden is Too Heavy

Scripture - Numbers 11:11-17 (ESV)

11 Moses said to the Lord, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me? 12 Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me, ‘Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers? 13 Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me and say, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’ 14 I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me. 15 If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.” 
16 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Gather for me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and officers over them, and bring them to the tent of meeting, and let them take their stand there with you. 17 And I will come down and talk with you there. And I will take some of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them, and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, so that you may not bear it yourself alone.


  • asks the LORD “Why”.
  • feels that the LORD has dealt with him in an bad way.
  • feels that the LORD is not happy with him.
  • feels a great burden upon himself.
  • questions the LORD’s plan for him.
  • tells the LORD that he cannot handle his situation.
  • tells the LORD his troubles and brings his grievances before to the LORD.
  • says that he is unable to carry the burden alone for it is too heavy for him.
  • blames the LORD for his troubles.
  • wants to die and sees himself as wretched.
  • listens to Moses in his time of need.
  • does not condemn him for his feelings or questions.
  • brings Moses an answer.
  • gives Moses the task of bringing other wise people around him.
  • promises to come down and talk to Moses.
  • lifts Moses burden by having other trusted people share it with him.
  • says that Moses does not have to do it alone.

There have been times in my life where I have been like Moses.  I have been under a great burden and wanted to blame God and question his plan for my life.  I have been even to the point where I wanted to die.  I thought I was a bad person for not being able to do what I thought God wanted me to do.  I thought it was wrong to tell this to God.  I blamed God for my situation and feelings.
There are many people that at times feel like I did.  People who follow God, but still get depressed and maybe even want to die at times.  In this passage in Numbers we see that when Moses brought the truth of his feelings to God, God did not condemn him or tell him that indeed he was a horrible person who should just die.  No, God listened to him and brought him an answer and lightened his burden.
God listens to us as we come to him with our burdens.  We can go to him when we feel depressed and want the end to come.  We can take the example of Moses and do what God told him to do it his time of need.  We may feel alone, but we can gather around us people that are wise to share our burden.
God also came down and talked to Moses.  We too can hear God speak to us.  God has given us His very word in the Bible and His comfort through the Holy Spirit.  God has given us Himself, and God has given us fellow believers to come around us in our time of need to help carry the burdens on our hearts.  God has provided so that we do not have to do it alone.  We can make it through with Him and with His provision of His people.


“Oh, LORD, my God, sometimes I get down.  I ask you why.  I feel a heavy burden on me.  I feel a depression weighing me down, and I even want to die.  Thank you that you don’t condemn me for my feelings.  Thank you that I can come to you in my time of need and hopelessness, and you will listen to me.
       When you ask me to gather others around me in the midst of my time of need, help me to follow your direction.  Thank you that you provide other wise people around me that can help carry the burden on my heart.  You are a tender and loving God.  Thank you for listening and talking to me through your Word.  In the name of Jesus, Amen and Amen.”